Don’t Shit Where You Hike – Guadalupe Mountains National Park

It was my first foray into Guadalupe Mountains National Park. I’d just ascended to the highest point in the world (or at least in Texas, which is the only thing that really counts. Fuck Everest.).

With much moaning and complaining, but that’s besides the point. Sore legs are nothing when nature calls and you’re deep in the woods.

And that’s when I realized there were no facilities – not even a composting toilet – on this popular trail. What’s more, there was no easy place to step off trail and discreetly pop a squat. And the park’s rules specifically forbid catholing. 

I was literally in deep shit.

Why are we talking about this shit?

My discomfort descending Guadalupe Peak with clenched cheeks left quite an impression. I decided that an article outlining the poopy policies of Guadalupe Mountains National Park was in order to spare you, dear reader, from a similar experience. 

The bottom line is that there is no poop allowed. At least, no human poop – you’ll see shit loads of various feline, coyote and bear excretions scattered generously along the way. In fact, the park strives to avoid all human waste in the Guadalupe Mountains backcountry. So what’s a girl to do when her bowels get in a bunch?

Loosen your belt and clench those cheeks – this is a disgusting deep dive into the National Park Service’s approved way to take a dump in the Guadalupe Mountains.

Why can’t you poop in the Guadalupe Mountains National Park?

NPS states, “Due to the rocky nature of the soils and dry environment in the park, the digging and use of “catholes” for human waste is prohibited.” 

It further specifies that, “Depositing human waste and toilet paper in or on the landscape is prohibited.”

So you can’t poop in the ground. And you can’t poop on the ground.

I guess you’ll just have to…hold it until you get down the mountain?

Side note, despite the rigorous rules regarding (not) shitting in the stony soil, there’s not a single bathroom in the park past the trailheads. Not even composting toilets! 

There’s no way everyone is aware of these rules, which is why I decided an explicit outlining of the pooping process and consequences of failure to comply was in order.

The crazy thing is that NPS is counting on people to both read the rules and then follow said rules restricting their ability to answer nature’s call.

Mind blown.

What do you do if you need to poop in the mountains?

Should your bowels fail on the trail, you are expected to make your deposit into a landfill-safe commercial toilet bag system and pack this bag out to an appropriate trash receptacle. 

I like to use a WAG bag. 

Said (unused) WAG bag for your viewing pleasure

Pro-Tip: It’s advisable to purchase this landfill-safe commercial toilet bag system before arriving at the park. 

If you’re planning a long hike and decide to purchase them at the Pine Springs Visitor Center, the price might make your shit your pants right there. We’re talking $5.99 for a single bag (as of the time of this writing). That’s one pricey poo.

I purchased my WAG bags from REI for $2.99 – still too much for a poop bag, but I guess it’s a small market.

All of this to say, if you’re going more than a few miles in the park, it’s not a bad idea to carry a WAG bag for each member of your party. 

Backcountry campers are actually required to carry one bag per person per night of their trip, and to provide proof of ownership prior to the permit being issued. Yeah, the rangers may well ask to see your (un-used) poop bags before you go hiking.

What are the consequences of pooping in the woods in Guadalupe Mountains National Park?

Per the park’s policies, consequences for getting caught violating this policy (or any other NPS rule) are as follows:

“A person who violates any provision of the regulations found in 36 CFR Parts 1-7, along with this compendium, is subject to a fine as provided by law (18 U.S.C. 3571) up to $5,000 for individuals and $10,000 for organizations, or by imprisonment not exceeding six months (18 U.S.C. 3559), or both, and can be adjudged to pay all court costs associated with any court proceedings.”

I know these consequences may sound drastic but don’t shoot the messenger here. All levity aside, these rules exist to keep the park pristine for years to come. 

As a frequent flier in Guadalupe Mountains, these rules do actually make sense. It’s rocky out there and I can definitely see how it would be impossible to dig a 6 inch cat hole as is standard in may other parks. And obviously, if the ground is too rocky to dig in, aesthetically and sanitarily you wouldn’t want to be dropping deuces on the surface. So let’s all do our part and shit in a WAG bag when out in Guadalupe Mountains National Park.

Too Long: Didn’t Read

This park doesn’t fuck around when it comes to shitting in the woods. Be prepared to hold it in, pack it out, or risk the consequences. 

And those consequences could include fines up to $5000 or jail time, at least according to the written policy. If that doesn’t make you constipated, there’s no helping you.

You’re now forewarned of the difficulty of dropping a dump in Guadalupe Mountains National Park. With any luck, you’ll be able to empty your bowels in the lovely restrooms at Pine Spring trailhead prior to starting any hike. 
This knowledge may not have lightened anyone’s load, but at least now you know how to shit in the woods legally.