Episode Transcript
Gabrielle (00:00)
I was staggering around because this branch was so heavy. I looked like a drunk trying to get this fucking line out of the tree. Oh man. And the worst part about this whole thing is that you were so confident that you didn’t record it. Yeah, I did not turn the GoPro on.
Gabrielle (00:37)
welcome to this fucking trail, home to brutally honest takes on Texas trails, hiking hilarity, and all things adventure-y. I’m your MC John and I’m here to warn you that this podcast is not for young children or anyone with a sensitivity to swears or strong opinions. And now over to the hiking hostess with the most this. I did, in fact, just say that she is an intrepid explorer and affirmed potty mouth and my wife, Gabrielle.
Yep, that’s me. Welcome to this fucking trail.
Today we’re going to talk all about my very first backpacking trip. Yeah, cannot wait to dive into that, babe. Are you as excited to talk about this as I am? I am so stoked. All right. Well, let’s get into it.
Gabrielle (01:22)
Y’all, I fucked up. In this episode, we reference Wilderness Ridge Campground. What we’re really referring to is McKittrick Ridge Backcountry Campground. So when you hear us say Wilderness Ridge Campground, just know that what we actually mean is McKittrick Ridge Backcountry Campground. Oops.
Gabrielle (01:41)
Okay, well, I think at this point in the podcast, we’ve told people to do all the usual bullshit, follow, like, subscribe, all that nonsense. Let’s actually talk about what we’re going to talk about now. So you went on a backpacking trip, solo, multi-day hiking backpacking trip, camping in the backcountry. How did that happen?
You know, I’m still trying to figure that out myself. I had been accumulating some rather expensive backpacking gear for, I don’t know, the past two years and it was just sitting in the closet. And I finally decided it was time to use it. So naturally, I decided to go by myself to Guadalupe Mountains National Park, where there are no natural sources of
and hit the trails for my first time ever as a backpacker. Yeah, I mean, that’s that’s a classic Gabriel plan right there. What? So you actually had accumulated like kind of a lot of pretty, pretty OK gear. Not a not a small investment, I guess, made over that. Well, five years, what all OK, so what’s what’s kind of some of the key stuff that you had?
purchased and never used. My tent was the biggest one. I had a Durston tent. Purchased that to the tune of some $300, I think, intending to use it for backpacking. And it was just sitting in the garage. then I went to an REI backpacking class and got sold on a Nemo sleeping bag to the tune of $250.
And that’s kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back. That’s when I decided, OK, I just spent $250. It’s time to go use this fucking gear. Yeah. Well, and we had we had already purchased all kinds of stuff over the years for adventure racing and other things that they’d never use. We have like Sawyer water filtration systems that we’ve never used, which you did not get to use on this trip. There’s yeah, there’s no natural sources of water in Guadalupe Mountain. So I didn’t even take that with me.
Yeah, he’d be trying to get water from the water from the rocks, right? Yeah, so we have like all kinds of we have like bins and boxes and bags. Yeah, those were those were some good. And that’s like, that’s pretty decent gear. Like, it’s not bad. I mean, an ultra lighter weight scoff at it, but it’s it’s pretty decent gear. Yeah, I think for the casual hiker.
Or or camper like this is not something this is not an investment that you make I think most people who go camping do not spend $300 on a tent that Can comfortably really only fit one person can you know, if you’re if you’re cozy with each other can fit two people But it you know, it’s it’s definitely a tiny tent. I think most $300 tents are like six person tents exactly Okay. Well anyways So you made a plan?
Right. This was not a spur of the moment, unplanned show up at the park and go backpacking situation. because that’s not really how you roll. So tell me about the plan. Yeah. So my plan was it was going to be a three day, two night trip into the back country of Guadalupe mountains.
so I kind of planned out all of my roots. was going to use Muscalero campground as my base camp and kind of do some hiking out from there. and then eventually circle back to pine Springs.
Okay. And so you showed up and as you’re supposed to, and it may be as you have to, you went and checked in with the Ranger. Yeah, you do have to get your permit in person. I was allowed to pay for it prior, but you have to pick it up and talk to the Ranger before you’re actually issued the physical permit. And so I had gotten an email ahead of time that said, you know, have all the stuff that you need to hang a bear bag at your campground.
But I had never seen evidence of black bears in Guadalupe Mountains National Park before. I had been out there multiple times. So I kind of thought maybe this email that told me I was supposed to hang a bear bag at my campground was a little bit of overkill and just in case. But you know, like a good little hiker that I am, I had everything that I needed to hang my bear bag.
I had even YouTubed a couple of things. So I knew how to hang a bear bag. Had I gone out and practiced? ha, hell no. But I had watched that video on the off chance I actually had to hang a bear bag. And so I check in with the ranger and he asked me if I had my wag bags and I eagerly pulled out my two wag bags to show him that I
a way to shit in the backcountry and not have to cat hole and he was very pleased that I had that. Yes. I was also very pleased to have those wag bags because they charge like six dollars to buy a bag to poop in if you don’t come prepared in Guadalupe. So always bring your own wag bags. There is no shitting in the backcountry in Guadalupe. Yeah. And then as he’s kind of going over the rules and regulations and goes over like, hey, you have to hang all of your food in a bear bag.
Okay, yes, I am prepared to do that, but y’all don’t actually have black bears here, do you? And he goes, yeah, we have them all over the place. And I about shit my pants. And somehow this ranger didn’t even notice. Like he just keeps going on through the rules and regulations, doesn’t notice that my voice goes up a couple octaves and finishes.
giving me the permit and I kind of stumble out in shock and awe. Yeah, actually, I think the Ranger was actually complimentary, if I remember what you told me. Took a look at your itinerary and was just like, okay. Yeah, he thanked me for being so prepared, said most people didn’t come this prepared, which I’m like, what the fuck are y’all doing? Because if you’re coming out here to backpack, you have no business being out here unless you’re prepared and…
Ready for everything. But of course, I wasn’t prepared because I didn’t know that there were black bears in Guadalupe mountains, right?
Gabrielle (07:54)
Okay, so speaking of bear bags, had actually, so I have a GoPro and you usually take that with just for like pictures for videos and stuff from your trips. And I had specifically requested that you record yourself hanging a bear bag because I think we both thought that you were really going to struggle kind of a lot. And so we were hoping for some very funny bear bag footage that we could enjoy. I was at
I don’t know if you were hoping for that, but I was like, I cannot wait to watch her repeatedly throwing and dropping this line. We did think it was going to be a comedy of ears. And as requested, I turned that Dan GoPro on when it came time to toss my first bear bag. And I really, I really didn’t think it was going to go well.
But I kind of swung it around a couple of times and let her fly and it flew up over the branch landed exactly where I needed it to go and plopped down perfectly on my very first attempt. you fucking nailed it. I did fucking nail it. And so the reaction video is a reaction of, my gosh, I can’t believe I just fucking did that. Right. Yeah, we actually.
I should look for that video. haven’t seen it in a minute, but I feel like you were super excited. I kind of froze. I was shocked for a second. And then, yes, there was a little victory dance. Yeah.
Little little backcountry geek celebration. OK, all right. Well, so you nailed it. So that video was in some ways a little underwhelming, but I guess also it was like a super affirming experience, right? Very empowering. It did feel very empowering. It did make me feel like a backcountry badass to nail that bear bag. So, I mean, hell, yeah. OK, so now I’ve not actually ever hung a bear bag myself, so I really can’t talk like I have no idea.
what would happen if I attempted it. I’d like to think I’m good at that kind of thing.
but you’ve got one up on me at this point. All right, so let’s talk a little bit about the hikes that you did, right? So you’re on, where’s your base camp again? My base camp was at Mescalero. So I started at the Pine Springs Trailhead and hiked up to Mescalero for my base camp. Okay. And how was that hike? That was a hard fucking hike.
As I mentioned, there are no sources of water in the backcountry, so I had to carry everything that I was gonna need for my three days, two nights. And my backpack was not big enough to fit all of the water that I needed for this hike. So what I ended up doing was taking two gallons and hanging them over each end of a trekking pole. And using this trekking pole like a fucking yoke. And I looked like an
Absolute psycho pulling out of pine springs, you know, there there’s people everywhere going up towards Guadalupe Mountain and coming down from it They’re just fucking everywhere and here I am headed off in the opposite direction with two gallons of water strong across my shoulders and a backpack that’s Stuffed with shit Yeah, absolute psycho. gosh, see that’s that’s something I wish I could have seen I should
You should do that for like a hiking workout here just so I can see what it looks like. We’ll make you you can see you put up put on the backpack the yoke make you drag a tire at the same time. I mean the one guy I saw on the trail when I was set up like this kind of looked at me real quick and then about ran past me didn’t say a thing. Our neighbors already think we’re psychos why not everybody else. Okay so.
You get to Mescalero, you’ve got base camp. It was a hell of a hike as you’re carrying this yoke of gallons of water and plastic. Did they fall off? They never fell off. I was a little worried that they might tumble, but they never did. I think my base weight was probably around 45 pounds with all of that water. Yeesh. And this is like an uphill hike.
Yeah, this was, I think it was eight miles and more than 2000 feet of elevation gain. And I was a bit in a time crunch because I had driven up to Guadalupe Mountains that morning. So I didn’t start hiking until about noon and I knew I needed to be to the camp no later than five or six o’clock. So I had some daylight left to set up. So I was definitely trying to crank out those miles to get to camp before it got dark.
Yeah, eight miles two thousand feet of elevation in like five five and a half hours 45 pounds awkwardly across your back Well, you did it though I did I did do it and I think I only fell down a couple times. Yeah Well, good fucking job okay All right. So you got to mescalero success basically absolutely
Crushing it your first day, hanging the bear bag on your first fry. Feeling pretty good at this point, I think. Yeah, I was on top of the world. Okay, so that’s day one. How was the first night? Now this is the… You’ve done a couple of trips like camping solo by yourself without me or the child around. So you’re pretty familiar with sleeping outdoors. But this is kind of…
maybe the furthest into the backcountry that you’ve gone by yourself to sleep? Yeah, I’ve never camped honestly by myself. When I go on trips up to this point, I have always car camped. So I’m going out on big hikes and then coming back and not really even sleeping outside. I’m sleeping in the comfort of the car, which makes me feel really safe. No bears going to get me. I lock the car like, you know, it feels very secure and cozy. I’ve seen a lot of reels of bears opening car doors.
I always keep the doors locked because I have also seen those reels and I am a little bit scared of that happening to me. Yeah, bears are smart. Okay, but yeah, so this is this is the first time you’ve actually slept in a tent under the stars. In the wilderness by yourself with without anyone that you know. Anywhere within 50 miles. Yeah, it it was and it was
terrifying. My whole way out to the camp, I kept thinking about turning around and going back. In fact, after talking to the ranger about the bears, I called you in a panic going, my gosh, I shouldn’t do this. This is bad idea. I forgot about that call. man. I was like melting down when I called you and seriously thinking about not going because I was so scared to go out there by myself and sleep.
in the woods all by myself. And now you’ve just told me that there’s bears everywhere around. Like it was almost the straw that broke the camel’s back. That’s right. I can’t believe the Ranger like didn’t even pick up because you were freaking out. You were like ready to drive home. I was like not even go on any hike. I was ready to turn around and come home that very night. Like borderline. I don’t think you were actually in tears, but I felt like you were like close.
I was so scared to go sleep out in the back country by myself and just this extra little thing, almost felt like an excuse not to go. Like I think I could have easily used that to back out and said, this was a smart decision to back out. needed to, it was not safe for me to go by myself.
But I did not support you in that. You did not. I was like, look, black bears aren’t that big a deal. They aren’t, you know, they aren’t really interested in people, especially not in this area. This isn’t an area with aggressive black bears. There’s not a lot of human interactions. If they hear you, they’re going to go the other way or just completely ignore you. Yeah. And I did see a lot of evidence of bears in the area once I actually got past the trails that I’ve hiked in Guadalupe before.
there was their shit everywhere. I felt a little stupid, not having noticed this before because there was quite a bit of bear scat out there and lots of evidence of their presence. Well, this wasn’t your first trip to Guadalupe. We we’ve camped out there before and you had actually car camped and done some hiking free one of our camping trips.
Yes, I had, which is kind of why I was so shocked to find out there it is black bear habitat because I had just never noticed any of the evidence and I had never seen stuff on the National Parks website about them being there. So I feel like maybe that should be plastered on there a little bit more. Yeah, it’s not, I guess, super clear. And I think it actually is there. I think I don’t know. I remember if we looked. I think we looked. It’s there once you go looking.
If you’re just trying to learn general information about the park, that could easily be a fact that you overlook. Right. Yeah, it’s not it’s not up in your face. But if you’re like, hey, are there bears in Guadalupe? They’ll be like, yes, there are actually. Yeah, it’s not like Big Ben National Park where on the park’s website, everywhere it’s saying that they have black bears and it’s a well-known fact. This is kind of, guess, a keep it under wraps little known secret.
Yeah, I mean, I guess there must not be a lot of bear human interactions. It’s one of the least visited national parks, so their visitation numbers are pretty low. And honestly, most people are sticking to the front country. They’re not going far out there. Right. And I didn’t start seeing evidence of black bear activity until I got about five miles out, which is further than most people are ever going to go in Guadalupe Mountains. Which is too bad. It’s further than I’ve ever been.
You know, as I say that it’s too bad that people don’t go out there. Yeah, I mean, the peak is cool. So and if you’re only there for a day or two, that’s really all you’re going to do. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s talk about what happened after that. So far, we’ve only gotten through a single day and not even a full day. So you camp at Mescalero, you’re terrified. Do you sleep badly? Actually.
sleep badly at all. I thought I was gonna be so so scared. I thought I wasn’t gonna get a wink of sleep all night long. But once I got into my tent and kind of turned off the lights, I felt this weird calmness and stillness come over me. And I had kind of decided to try to keep my body calm and keep my mind calm so that when I heard noises I wasn’t gonna allow myself to start panicking and have my heart
Galloping everywhere. so I had that intention to stay really nice and calm and somehow it worked at some point I did start to hear some human voices and down in the valley toward mckittrick I saw a bunch of lights so that also I don’t know ufos obviously. Yeah
But they made me feel calm because I thought, well, I’m not alone out here. And guess like if I can hear these people’s voices, I can scream out if, you know, a bear attacks me or whatever the fuck might happen to me. So the presence of other humans in some weird way did help calm me, even though they were probably miles away. And I’m not sure what the fuck they were doing out there. Yeah.
All right, well, so you made it through the night, wake up feeling super refreshed somehow, which actually is like super weird that that would happen. And we’ve got some more hiking to get done. So what else did you do for hikes while you were out there? So I left Mescalero as my base camp. So that morning I got up and I hiked out to Lost Peak.
without carrying all my shit, just, just the basics, the 10 essentials. so went up on top of lost peak, looked around. I had actually, I had intended to do a much bigger loop, but I was kind of tired from the day before. So I kept my extra hiking short and only went to lost peak. so then I came back to my base camp at Mescalero, packed up my tent and headed out toward.
McKittrick Ridge backcountry campground, which I had read were fucking phenomenally beautiful campgrounds and something to be really excited about How was last week? Well speak was cool. There’s humongous pile of rocks up on the top of it There is no defined actual trail to the top of it. Like I was on I don’t remember what trail it was but
I was able to go, that’s the top of Lost Peak and kind of go off trail up to the top of it. Got some nice views into Dog Canyon. So it was fun. was definitely worth the trip to figure out that area. Cool. So kind of a kind of a scramble to get up there, sort of picking your way and going up over rocks and boulders. yeah. Yeah. Some real ankle breaker territory made me feel like a badass being able to navigate to the top of a mountain without an
actual defined a trail, like how could you fuck that up? But it still did make me feel like a total navigate, navigate tricks. I guess we can call it. All right. Well,
So, okay, so we’ve got Lost Peak, you make it back. We’re going to McKittrick Ridge. McKittrick Ridge is a super, it is a beautiful area. And I remember, because you had hiked up the ridge before. And I think maybe that was part of one of the reasons why you wanted to go back is because you had such a great experience on McKittrick Ridge, like on the trail. You hadn’t been to the campsites, you hadn’t gone that far down.
Right. Yeah, I had hiked from McKittrick up Permian Reef Trail. That’s right. And that was, I think, probably the best hike in Guadalupe Mountains National Park. was phenomenally beautiful, completely underrated, incredibly challenging. And so I knew that area was really pretty. And the park’s website had claimed that McKittrick Ridge Campground was also really beautiful and something to see. So I was excited to check it out for myself.
Alright, okay. So you do that you hike from Mescalero to McKittrick Ridge, which is not a super short hike per se. How are the trails out there? my god, they were so unmaintained. I was actually a little bit nervous because I was kind of bushwhacking through heavy undergrowth. And there’s not a whole there’s actually not many Karens at all.
out in Guadalupe mountains. It’s just not a way that they mark their trails. And so I was kind of following the Pete. Just to just to clarify, you’re saying Karen, not Karen. Exactly. OK. Yeah, I think we want to make sure that comes across. We don’t know how many Karen’s there might be in Guadalupe Mountain National Park at any given time. You know, I guess be aware you might be being recorded right on somebody’s cell phone. But.
Karen wise in terms of like stacks of rocks that you might use to mark a trail. That’s something we’ve used a lot out in Big Bend hiking and navigating routes and trails and sub trail pads through the wilderness. Yeah, it’s something we’ve gotten pretty good at following is looking for those Cairns out into Big Bend’s, but it’s not a commonly used feature in Guadalupe Mountains. So I was
following what I thought was the trail, which was kind of just the path of least resistance where there was a lot of undergrowth. But if I tried to stray in either direction, the going got a lot more challenging. And so while I felt like I was on the trail and doing okay, I was a little bit worried about being able to find my way back. Yeah.
And you know, this is definitely
I was really glad that I had like a map of all of your routes because if you hadn’t checked in with me, you I would have at least known where you were. and we actually, we use kind of like a, a triple system of security, right? Like, so not only. There are, there are many layers actually to this, this like making sure we at least find your body system. Right? So like you’re leaving.
Maps and route information with me. You’re leaving them in the car so that Rangers might find them if your car is sitting there and I haven’t somehow not called them worried about you and but you’ve also got your cell phone with Gaia. Yes. And then we also have a a bivy stick a GPS device that that you can use to text myself or Rangers or search and rescue.
And actually to trigger an emergency call for help. So you’re not just out there wandering around. Don’t want people to worry about you. Think that you’re wandering the woods and just hoping you’re on the trail with literally no chance of knowing for sure. I mean, that’s kind of what’s happening, though. Like I’ve got the backup plans, but backup plans fail. They do. They do. And actually, I kind of have the feeling that a lot of people do go out there and hike that way that they just like, well, I’ve got a cell phone.
Yeah, and there’s absolutely no cell service out there. So to use these resources, you have to be prepared. I have to be downloading the Gaia maps ahead of time. I’ve had my GPS on my phone stop working so that Gaia is non-functional. And so we do have lots of safety layers in place, but it’s always possible for those things to fail. So at the end of the day, you really do need to know how to use your map and your compass. Yeah, I mean, that’s definitely true.
That’s been a that’s been its own challenge, but that’s maybe a discussion for another day. Yeah, we’re not going to talk about that right now. No, let’s not get into that. So. One of the things that I do, I do want to say that I really appreciate when you are out hiking by yourself, whether you’re car camping or backpacking is having that baby because you can you can send me the check ins and then I get a map where I can like.
track your progress and make sure that you’re still in motion. It could just be a bear dragging you through the woods in motion, but if you’re on a trail and it’s probably not a bear, you’re probably fine. So I really appreciate that as your base camp person, knowing that you’re alive and still moving toward where you’re supposed to be. Okay, let’s move on. The trail to McKittrick Ridge is kind of a shit show, but you make it through. You actually are on the trail.
Right. am. It turns out I am on the trail and I get dumped out at the wilderness campground area. OK, so you make it to wilderness campground. Does it live up to the hype?
Actually, I thought there were pretty views from the wilderness campground. There were no fucking views. Like, I kind of had this impression it was up on this open ridge or something. I don’t know what I was envisioning, but I thought it was going to be pretty. And there were enough trees and enough brush around that there were no open sweeping views. So I really didn’t find it to be all that impressive.
there were, think there’s about five established campgrounds. So it’s first come first serve. Once you have a permit to camp in the area, you get to pick which one of those you want. So I was the first person in that area. I wandered around and picked out what I felt like was the best campground, but there were definitely no views like what I was expecting. Well, and that’s exactly why we do things like this podcast and the blog, because people are
or just throwing out flowery claims about literally every trail and campground. It’s always gorgeous and beautiful. And yet, obviously, we all know that that is an absolute lie.
Okay, all right. Well, so you discover the bullshit. It is just another campground in the woods. But you made it. You’re alive. You set up camp. You hang your bear bag. Yeah, I was really eager to get that out of the way, you know, despite my success the day before I that was something I just really wanted to get up and get it out of the way and know that I was going to be okay.
I had way too much stress worrying about being able to find the right tree to be able to hang these stupid bear bags. And so actually, even before I put up my tent, I went searching for the right tree to hang this damn bear bag on. And I found the right tree and, you know, bolstered with confidence from the day before I tossed my rock with my rope tied to it.
And I got it over the branch, but then the rock got stuck in some branches and I couldn’t get it over or down. And so my rope, my line was just stuck up in this fucking tree. And I was trying to pull the rock loose so I could pull the line down and retoss it. Nope, it was wedged in these fucking branches.
you know, I pulled at it from different angles. I did pretty much everything that I could think of to dislodge this rock from this bastardly little tree. And I couldn’t get my line down from this tree. How long did you spend trying to do this? Well, I think it was probably a good 15 minutes of frantically pulling on it, yanking on it from every angle imaginable.
You know, to the point that there’s blisters popping up on my hands. So I think I probably only spent about 15 minutes pulling on it. And that’s when I realized, okay, I’m not gonna be able to just yank on it with my mighty muscles and get it out of this tree. I’m gonna have to come up with an alternate plan. So after about 15 minutes of that, I started to think, okay, can I climb this tree? And the answer was very much no. So then I found a small…
downed tree that was probably, I don’t know, 10, 12 foot tall. And I pick up a tree that has fallen on the ground, or maybe it was just a branch. I don’t know, it was really long. And I thought, okay, I can shove at this rock that my rope is attached to, and I’ll be able to shove it out of the little nook where it’s caught in. So I hoist.
This big old tree up onto my chest and I’m trying to shove at the rock that’s tied to my rope that’s stuck up in a tree. And of course, the branch that I’m holding is really heavy and unwieldy. Like it’s fucking 10 foot tall and I’m trying to shove at a tiny little rock stuck up in a tree. You know, as as bark is showering down, I’m like, oh, my God, I’m to bark in my eyes and like have some catastrophic eye injury out here.
Uh, I was staggering around because this branch was so heavy. I looked like a drunk trying to get this fucking line out of the tree. Oh man. And the worst part about this whole thing is that you were so confident that you didn’t record it. Yeah, I did not turn the GoPro on. And by the time I realized that I was in deep shit, I was walking pissed and not about to get that.
I’m still so sad. I didn’t get to see this. Just the very the picture you like dancing and prancing around this tree, yanking on this rope, giving up on that and then literally picking like a 10 foot fallen tree up onto your chest and trying to shove it into the other tree to knock your rope down. At one point, I had this tree branch kind of
on my chest holding it with one arm and was trying to shove at the rock and then as I tried to shove at the rock with this big old branch that’s balanced on my chest I’m pulling on the rope with the other hand trying to like push it from one end and pulling it with the other like it was an absolute nightmare. Complete clusterfuck. So how did it all work out? You did actually get it down. Somehow I did get it down. Do even know?
Honestly at this point, I don’t exactly remember I think I was able to push it enough with that branch that I was holding that then I was able to pull it out of the little crevice and it came down and somehow didn’t hit you in the face which would have like been the just the icing on the cake at that point, right? All right. Well, so you get it down That tree is clearly a bust. You’re not gonna try that one. Yeah, definitely not tossing that again. So I tucked tail and went off in search of
another tree, and I found a beautiful, wonderful, perfect tree that like the branch jutted out from the trunk like a wet dream for hanging a bear bag. And I tossed my rope and I didn’t quite get the rope where I wanted it. The rope was a little bit too close to the trunk of the tree. So theoretically, if a bear climbed up.
and was on the main trunk of the tree, he’d be able to reach out and grab the bag. Okay. So I knew I needed to pull it down and toss it a little bit further out on the limb. And I was a little excited, I think, from getting the rope up kind of close to where I wanted it. And so I yanked really quickly to pull the rope down, which caused the rope to then swing around the
branch of the tree and wrap around it nice and secure so that it was not going to be pulled down. So that’s that’s a pro tip right there. No, no. When you’re pulling a bare bag line down, you do it slow and gentle and easy. Yeah. Don’t get excited. Don’t yank on anything or you will cause massive trouble. Yeah.
so you know, my, rope is wrapped around this branch. It’s basically tied in place. Basically. And so there’s no way I’m getting the fucking thing down. only this tree was one I thought I climb, but the problem with it was this was a dead tree. It had obviously been struck by lightning. Like there’s no branches on it. There’s no foliage on it. This is a fucking dead tree, which maybe I shouldn’t have hung a bear bag on a dead tree. I don’t know.
I would think a bear would probably not climb a dead tree. So it seems like reasonably safe. I don’t know. I’m not an expert. Yeah, I’m not an expert either. But I climbed this dead tree and it was it was hella sketchy. I could feel it kind of moving around a little bit. And I’m like, my God, is this how it ends that I fall out of a tree and die in the wilderness? Not because I get lost or dehydrated or heat stroke.
but because I was an idiot with my bear bag. But I was able to get it unwound and hung properly and it was a beautiful bear bag in the end. Well, very nice.
I bet you just felt like an absolute backcountry badass once again. I was actually too mad to feel anything other than fury. OK, well, so you did it. You made it to McKittrick McKittrick ridge. You hung your bear bag somehow after. Like a half hour of just everything going wrong. You set up camp and.
That was that was it. It was it was night. It was still early afternoon by the time that was all done. So I did hike out from wilderness toward Permian Reef and there were some nice views from there. Like once you actually get back out on the trail, the views were really gorgeous and kind of more what I was expecting. Gotcha. Yeah, I mean, it is it’s it’s beautiful area.
I really need to get out there and do some of those trails because you have you have sold me on them so hard. So hard man. So hard. All right. Well, maybe another time.
Gabrielle (35:12)
So the good news at this point is that you’ve not died in a tree or on the trail and we haven’t had to call search and rescue to look for you.
But there was a search and rescue event on this trip. There was. So like I mentioned, I was the first one to get to McKittrick Ridge Campground, but I did know that there was another reservation, so there would be another group up there at some point. And at some point in the afternoon, I see two men come hiking up and they go pick a campsite and set up. No big deal. And so I’m eating my dinner. I’m
messing around, doing my thing. And as it starts to get dark, I get into my tent to go to bed. And at some point when full darkness had fallen, another group came hiking up. It was a threesome. I think it was two men and a young woman. And they set up a tent and they hear them talking and laughing like, I don’t think anything of it. And I go to sleep.
And then at some point in the night, I get woken up because I hear a helicopter. And I thought, huh, that’s kind of weird to hear a helicopter in the middle of the night out here. But OK, I’m real sleepy. So I drift back to sleep and then it passes back over and it sounds a little closer. Like this is an intense, loud helicopter. Yeah. And.
All of a sudden I realized like, my gosh, they’re sweeping this area. Like they’re not just helicoptering by. They’re in this area. And I’m still kind of sleepy, but a few minutes later it passes like literally right over us. So loud, so intense. I’m like, oh my goodness. They’re in this actual area. Something’s happened. Like your campground.
Yeah, my campground because there’s no mistaking it. At this point, they’ve made three passes right over our campground, getting closer and closer each time. So I know that something bad has happened and that this is probably a search and rescue. Yeah. But at the same time, I hadn’t heard any hullabaloo. You know, I had seen the two men come up and find their campground earlier in the afternoon.
I knew they were there. I knew the threesome was there, but I hadn’t heard any yelling. I hadn’t heard me screaming. Nobody had approached me for asking for help. And so even though I knew that there was a search and rescue in process, it didn’t occur to me that somebody in my campground might have called for help. Right. And what was your, what was your clue that
It actually was somebody in your campground. feel like this is a clue that people could interpret in different ways. Well,
helicopter pass I started to hear some boots and some voices and I saw some lights and so it’s this big group of people tromping up the trail and the campsite that I had so carefully selected also happened to be the very first campsite of the three people who were up there right there’s my campsite there’s the group of the threesome who had come up was just a little bit further along
And then the two dudes were even further up the trail. So I’m the first person that this tromping group sees. And so I hear these boots and these voices and there’s light shining and I hear, look, there’s a tent over there. And they say something about the color of the tent. And they’re shining the light right on my tent. I’m like, my gosh, they’re gonna come in this tent. Like they’re fucking looking for somebody. Yeah.
And I was so glad that I had decided to put on my pants and not sleep in my underwear that night because I had considered sleeping in just my panties. But I did decide to actually put on my leggings. So, so glad. But I heard them talking about like two tents or something like that and multiple people. I real quick before they could come up on me and unzip my tent, I popped out of the tent and was like, hey, it’s just me. And they kept moving on.
Thankfully and who was it? It was the firefighters. They’re like, man, we’re with I I don’t remember the county’s name. The firefighter department, sorry to disturb you. And then they kept going. Actually, as they were talking to me, I hear a female voice call out over here. And so then they headed off to the threesome.
Tent site so this wasn’t just like a wet dream you’re dreaming and all of these super fit Firefighters come running up to your campsite to wake you up No, it was quite real life a Little bit less fun than the dream version So so these firefighters come up they at first they’re like stopped at your campsite debating if you’re the one but it’s not right It’s it’s this other group And so the the girl over there calls over here
How does the rest of your night go after that? Well, at that point, I couldn’t sleep anymore. Like, I tried to go back to sleep, but after the helicopters and now all these handsome firefighters, like, sleep was gone. So I kind of packed up all of my stuff, but it’s still pitch black. So I couldn’t really, I mean, I guess I could have gone somewhere, but I decided not to. So kind of laid around in the tent until it got light enough that I was able to actually get out and pack up everything.
And I keep looking over at where these firefighters are and they’re working by red light and stuff. But again, there’s no hooting and hollering, no screaming. They’re over there and they’re doing something, but I don’t know what they’re doing. Right.
So yeah, so it’s not like they’re like putting somebody on a stretcher and carrying them out. There’s no obvious medical operation happening here. They’re not CPR in somebody and save their life or putting them on on the helicopter, which has been circling. But I guess you haven’t at this point, you haven’t heard or seen. Yeah, helicopter is gone at this point. So like it’s not the type of situation where we have to medevac somebody. And like you said, they’re taking their sweet fucking time.
They’re not putting somebody on a stretcher and running down the hill. Actually, as it started to get light and I started to pack up, I see the firefighters, they’ve moved away from these people and they’re just standing there and talking while the campers are doing God knows what. OK, so what did you do? Well, this is not my finest moment, but once I had everything loaded onto my back, I walked
over to the firefighters intending to ask what the fuck had happened. And they’re standing probably 15 feet away from the people they had come up to quote unquote rescue. Yeah. And I said hi. And it was all these young, cute, muscled firefighters with unfortunately for them, they had the pedophile mustaches, you know, the firefighter look. little trash dash. my god.
so unattractive, but other than that, they were all fine. All right. I’m getting a little jealous. That’s really fine. And I, you know, I said hi and they didn’t really offer me any information. And so I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t just say, so what’s going on or is everyone OK? I, I.
Didn’t I did ask the girl as I passed her I said, hey you good and she said yes But offered no explanation why all these fine young men were up here to save one of their group I did ask if the helicopter was supposed to help them and they said yeah The helicopter was supposed to said they were gonna land and help them but had taken off on them And they told me to be safe out there and I
I tail and I hiked back toward Pine Springs.
Yeah, we never did find out what happened, did we? We didn’t. I googled the shit out of that. I asked one of the Rangers when I got back to Pine Springs. Like, I have no idea what actually happened. Yeah, that’s it. It’s so weird. Because it’s like there was almost like a search and rescue role play, right? Like they go up there to in theory to help somebody, but then they don’t actually do anything.
But it’s not like these these people didn’t seem like they were connected in any way. So it was like a real call. But then they did nothing and they just hung out for hours. And then I didn’t have the balls to ask what the hell was going on. I was trying not to give you too much of a hard time. But yes, also, you completely went out. The good news is if you ever need search and rescue in Guadalupe Mountains, it’s it’s going to come fast. Yeah. Like the reality is those people came up at dark.
And I don’t know what time the firefighters actually got there, but within hours of these people arriving up on wilderness camp and asking for help, people showed up to help them. Yeah. Yeah. We don’t know exactly when they called, but it couldn’t have been that much. before, right? It couldn’t have been that long in delay because they weren’t even there that long. Yeah. I mean, I think they probably arrived at the campground at about nine o’clock and I think it was about four a.m.
firefighters showed up and so and they were for sure. Okay, for at least a while because they were hanging out. They were laughing, setting up their campground, which is the confusing part. Yeah. So it’s not like they arrived in distress. Something happened in the night and we’ll never know what it was. No, we will not know. I am so fucking sorry. Yeah, I feel like we need to have like a like a murder mystery podcast episode where we investigate this and
track these people down and interview them, but I don’t know that we have the wherewithal to make that happen.
Okay, well, I’ll I’ll let you go I’ll let you off the hook on that one. All right We we missed we missed the boat. We didn’t find out what happened, but it was a crazy experience for your first backpacking trip
You make it out without too much trouble. I think at that point, the hardest navigation is behind you. Well, I mean, I did have to go back through all that rush. I was terrified I was going to get lost, but I was also bolstered by the confidence that if I hit my SOS button, those cute firefighters were going to show up within two to three hours. So I knew I was going to be OK. Yeah.
And you make it out to Pine Springs and you are exhausted and you don’t call the firefighters for help. You call your your handsome, extremely fit husband. I surely do. The plan was for me to get back to Pine Springs and then hike up to the Guadalupe Mountain Campground because Pine Springs Campground, when I looked, was completely booked.
So there was no place for me to camp the night that I got back. But there were campgrounds available up on the peaks campground. But when I got back, my feet hurt, my everything hurt, and I was being a little bitch, if I’m honest. So I called my big strong husband who does not have the little trash dash.
and said, hey, can you look and see if there’s any availability in the Pine Springs campground? And in addition to not having an awful, awful mustache, I also have your password for the parks website saved so I can go in and book you sites on demand. And that’s exactly what I did. I signed in and I was like, yeah, there are actually some some sites available. And so we were able to get you hooked up.
Literally last minute. And so you were able to chill out down low without having to climb anymore elevation.
And that was pretty much it. That’s the trip in a nutshell. You talk to a ranger to try to find out what happened with the sara, but she was just like, yeah, there was a sara, that’s all I know. Yeah. And after that, you came home and you were high as a fucking kite. Like you were pumped. I was so pumped because I had been so scared to go do this for more than a year.
You’d been psyching up for a while to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was the most terrifying thing to think of going out, hiking out somewhere and sleeping out in the back country. I don’t know why that’s so scary, but it really is as a soloist. And so refusing to let my fear prevent me from doing it. Like I had let my fear keep me from doing it for so long.
And I finally decided, you know what? It’s time for this year to take a back seat. It’s time for me to actually go do this and stop spending money on collecting gear and thinking that one day I’ll do it. Right. Now is the one day. And. That felt so amazing, like I felt so strong and so empowered and so on top of the world for a solid week like I just had the best week riding this emotional high of.
conquering my fears. Yeah, no, it was awesome. I’m super proud of you for doing this, by the way, this like, this is not something that I personally am really interested in attempting, but I recognize, like, we’ve hiked together a lot. We’ve done a lot of pretty hard things together. I know how hard it is to do all of those things. And I am super impressed that you did them on your own. No help, no backup, aside from, you know, calling me for a campsite at the very, very end, but
I don’t really hold that against you. thanks. So, yeah, no, I mean, you’re you’re a badass at this. It’s super cool that you were able to do this and make it happen. And obviously we got some pretty crazy stories out of it as well, which is not always nice. It was pretty memorable. I feel like there was there’s some good stories here. OK, so I think the last thing I want to ask you about this trip is, you know, we talked at the beginning about
Accumulating gear. How did the gear perform? Did it meet expectations exceed expectations? Was it complete and total shit? The gear actually met or overachieved my expectations. So the Durst intent went up easily. I was a little worried about getting it up by myself, but I was able to get it up very easily both nights. No condensation. It was comfortable. Like it felt really nice and secure and sturdy like
No complaints there. I’m really glad you didn’t have any trouble getting it up. I’m really glad too. Yeah, that happens sometimes to a camper of a certain age. The other big piece of gear that I was a little worried about was my sleeping bag. I get really cold really easily. Yeah, you do.
and, and I hate mummy sleeping bags. And so I had bought this Nemo, which is, has this kind of unique spoon shape, which means it’s much heavier and much bulkier than the mummy sleeping bags. But that was a price and sacrifice that I guess I’m willing to make, or I thought I was at least. You know, when you’re sensitive to the cold, but also claustrophobic at night, I feel like you have to make some choices. Sacrifices were made, but.
This sleeping bag was actually really warm. It was overly warm. Honestly, I had to unzip it and kind of be slightly uncovered. So I was definitely that that’s never a problem. It really is not is a testament to how warm that bag is because you never are uncovered when we camp. Yeah. So I was really, really pleased with that and kind of excited to go test it out in colder conditions to see if it’ll actually hold up. Yeah, it’s significantly cold outside.
Right, wasn’t it. When did you take this trip again? was October. OK, so you know, it in Texas. That’s pretty nice weather. It is and it was on the hotter end. You know, I was in a sleeveless shirt while hiking. Lots of sunscreen. It was probably in the seven. No, it’s probably in the 80s. It was hot. Yeah, but still it can get cold at night, right? I get cold and 60 degree weather, so you do. Yes, you you complain when I turn the AC below 70. Yeah, 70 is below 70.
unacceptable. 70 honestly is pretty cool for you. okay. Alright, so sleeping bag check the Durston. I think we have the X made like basic not the super expensive one. But jacket it I like that 10. Personally, I feel like this may be the easiest tent I’ve ever put up.
So I’m glad that that ended up being true in practice. It was this time. Yeah, this time. Yeah. Well, there’s another another time that we’ll have to talk about in the future. But. OK, any other any other like key pieces of gear that you were maybe concerned about going into this trip? No, no, I don’t think because all my other gear I had used before back, you know, with just camping.
I had used a sleeping pad before. Obviously I had used my backpack before. Right. And this was the Osprey that you took on this trip. Yes, I took the Osprey on this trip. I had used the pocket rocket before. which is a cooking implement to be clear, not a sex toy. Yes. In this case. okay. So. Yeah. So mean, everything pretty much worked out on the equipment front. It did. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, well that’s awesome. What about like the learning front, the skills front? Do feel like you had any takeaways? Any lessons learned? No? Practice hanging a bear bag? Yeah, well, okay, actually to be fair, I don’t know how good you can get at hanging your bear bag with practice, which is why I didn’t go out and practice. Yeah. Like, as with any skill, probably you can hone your craft. But…
I just don’t know that it’s worth practicing if I’m honest, which maybe is a terrible thing to say. It’s one of those things where I guess if you are like doing like Pacific Crest or Appalachian or something, maybe you get really good at it because you’re doing it every day for months or at least weeks.
Depending on how much of it you’re doing. Those bear bags are pretty specific as well. Like I don’t think you can hang just a regular bear bag because those bears have wised up to how to thwart most bear bags. So there are different skills depending on what trail you’re on. Yeah. I’m not quite sure what they do that’s different like on the PCT, but it is slightly different because the bears have started to outsmart their bear bags, which, you know, to be fair, it’s very easy to place them wrong and to
put them too close to the ground or too close to the limb or too close to the trunk. Like there is a lot of room for error, which is why a lot of places will actually just require you to carry a bear canister because they don’t want to allow people to fuck up. fair with their bear bags, like a Rocky Mountain National Park, you’re not allowed to hang a bear bag. You have to carry a bear canister if you want to be hiking out in the back country and camping out there.
Yeah, and I mean, that part gets so many visitors, I can understand why they don’t want to deal with. As you said, people fucking up, right? People are going to fuck up in the woods. It’s going to happen, especially when you have that many people. Yeah, and like, you know, a bear bag is a skill and there are many, many ways to fuck it up. And like, honestly, if you had a bear bag expert look at mine, I’m sure I fucked mine up in some way. Maybe I just got lucky that a bear didn’t get my food. I don’t know.
Yeah, I did my absolute best. did what I had Googled and read in YouTube. So that’s all I got. Right. OK, well, all in all, I think this was a pretty awesome trip for you. Any any final thoughts about it? Anything else that we didn’t talk about that happened on this trip that you feel like is worth bringing up? No, I would just say if you wanted to backpack.
and you’ve left fear hold you back. Don’t let that fear hold you back. Just go do it. It is scary, but it is absolutely worth it. And you will come off of it feeling stronger and more empowered than you ever thought possible. OK, awesome. An inspirational message. Well, I think that brings us to the end of this episode of this fucking trail. Thanks, everybody, for tuning in.
Again, this is your faithful base camp producer John signing off Gabrielle happy fucking hiking